Many parents do not know how to deal with it or know what signs to look for to spot it. There are many great ways to wrap up the school year, but dealing with difficult parents isnt one of them. Because school leaders are often not taught to deal with difficult teachers. It is easier to deal with a parent if you can build a relationship with them before a difficult situation arises.
At some point, you might find yourself in a meeting with a difficult parent. Apr 26, 20 in my seminars with educators on handling difficult parents the title of my book on this topic, i often begin by asking participants to call out words that come to mind which best describe parents who are difficult. Parentingideas schools provides teachers with the knowhow to communicate better with parents, minimise potential conflict and situation blowups with parents and support parents with their. Mar 30, 1998 a practical, quickread resource to help school principals and teachers at any level gain the skills needed to deal with disgruntled and unhappy parents. Building parentteacher relationships reading rockets. Principals, superindendants and managers and supervisors play crucial roles in supporting line staff teachers, support staff in dealing effectively with parents.
Teachers and parents need to be on the same side in order to create success for kids. To help teachers identify whether they are being bullied, the federation also outlines the difference between aggressive and assertive behaviour. What is the most effective way to deal with teachers that won. Into every teacher s life a little rain must fall, and this book shows you how to make something of it that can be positive for everyone involved, teacher, parent, and especially, student. How to deal with difficult parents, revisited middleweb. The internet is still fairly new, and therefore cyberbullying is also a recent issue. Sometimes, as a new teacher, its difficult to make the first call to a parent or guardian. Bell also suggests that the lines of communication between teacher and parents be opened up early on in the year.
I think the first thing to do when it comes with difficult parents is to first build a rapport with them. Should you have followed the preceding tips, you should be adequately prepared. Some teachers dont communicate efficiently with parents. Focus on supporting the teacher as long as she or he meets reasonable expectations. According to a study done by the center for the study of teaching and policy, the stress of dealing with difficult parents is one of the top reasons teachers quit. If teachers implement these strategies, it will be much easier for them to deal with difficult parents. Although teachers should be sensitive to parental anxiety, there is a limit to the behaviour they should be expected to deal with, russell says. Working with challenging parents of students with special. Proven solutions for teachers is a practical, disciplined, organized reponse to the need for teachers to develop special coping skills to deal with many varieties of difficult parents. Teachers must be empathetic to the parent and try to work together as a team. Email seems like a good option for communicating with parents, but it has limitations you should know about.
Oct 31, 2012 one of my 9th grade daughters classmates, who apparently reads my blog, gave several excellent suggestions. Dealing with difficult parents requires that principals first deal with themselves. Even in the midst of difficult conversations, always do your best to steer the focus back on the work, and the child themselves. How best to deal with angry parents within the school system. How to deal with difficult parents tips for teachers. If you have children and are a teacher or administrator, you have been at both sides of the table described in this book at some point. To help you head off potential problems before they arise or successfully deal with them if they do, weve outlined some typical parent teacher conflicts and paired them with action plans. Most teachers wear their heart on their sleeves and are the most caring people in the world. How teachers should deal with difficult parents thoughtco. What parents and teachers should discuss before school. How to deal with your childs difficult teacher national. Most teaching programs do not cover how to handle difficult parents, especially parents of special needs children. For example, if a teacher suggests that a parent should have a more active role in a childs education, dont let a. How to handle difficult parents linkedin slideshare.
Shes been supporting teachers through this website since 2003. All it takes is good communication skills and a little tact. Not any longer as parents muscle in on the classroom. Coping with verbal threats from parents to teachers and principals. In the end, the labor it takes to successfully deal with resisters will pay offin accomplishing your goals and attaining a positive working culture. Calling them the first day of school or before the child. Working with difficult and resistant staff members is unavoidable if you want to make longlasting school changes. Get advice on how to deal when your child gets an ineffective teacher, plus find out how to keep your kids education on track. This book helps teachers, principals, superintendent. Every rule has an exception and no matter how consistent principals attempt to be, there are times when plans must be adjusted. Teachers and educators should be familiar with the schools policies and procedures for dealing with book challenges and should be prepared to follow them.
Here are a few teachertested teaching strategies to help you cope with a disrespectful parent, so if you are ever are put into this kind of situation, you will be able to handle it with grace. So much can be lost in translation when conversing electronically. Consistently from book to book, whitaker delivers essential survival tips for all leaders in education with his nononsense approach. Preface introduction to the second edition dealing with difficult parents. My kids have been blessed with an endless stream of excellent teachers. Parents sometimes find it difficult to deal with teachers, because they come from different sense of responsibility or have other issues. Dealing with aggressive parents ontario college of teachers. Video example of a teacher effectively dealing with an angry parent. Dealing with difficult parents is virtually impossible for any educator to escape.
The other thing to remember is that the first teachers who are likely to take advantage of many of these types of opportunities are our best staff members. When the opportunity to discuss the history and present condition of the. Todd whitaker and doug fiore wrote a book, eye on education, that i feel is a very useful tool, said principal les potter. Unfortunately, almost every teacher is faced with an irate parent at some time. What may not be clear is that communication works both ways. You are in a position where it is sometimes necessary to make difficult decisions, and parents will sometimes challenge those decisions, especially when it comes to student. If you hear from their parents at all, it might be a thankyou card. Here are my guidelines for whom to involve in a parent conference. Here are 10 strategies, tried and true, that will alleviate a majority of problems with problem parents. If responding to a challenge, focus on three key points. Here are a few teacher tested teaching strategies to help you cope with a disrespectful parent, so if you are ever are put into this kind of situation, you will be able to handle it with grace. Just as parents typically encounter more active and passive. Maybe thats because we feel vulnerable and are never quite ready to handle an upset parent.
Children need to see their teacher and parents singing off the same song sheet. The information in this book is directed more toward administrators than teachers, and it uses the same three examples of difficult parents over, and over, and over again. Adhd books how to deal with a difficult child adhd help. In the classroom, create and maintain an atmosphere of openness and respect for nontraditional families. Dealing with a difficult teacher what kids want us to know. And i am wondering what you mean by not teaching the content. Once there is physical aggression or verbal intimidation or assault, thats when its time to call on the administration to step in.
Paula is also a contributing writer to the huffington post and has a childrens book published. Most of us in education have had the misfortune of dealing with a difficult parent or family, had a conflict with a parent or student, or have been ambushed by an upset person in school. No matter the circumstances, though, never meet a difficult parent alone. This book fills that gap, focusing both on dealing with specific problems and cultivating strong relationships with parents. Acknowledge that you may have surpassed them developmentally a long time ago, and their insensitivities will begin to hurt a little less. Jan 31, 2001 the information in this book is directed more toward administrators than teachers, and it uses the same three examples of difficult parents over, and over, and over again.
Ive been teaching 19 years, and i could come up with a thousand examples of parental abuse toward teachers. The benefit of parents and teachers working together. Dealing with difficult parents and with parents in difficult. Teachers use the term difficult parents to describe many different types of parents. Most of your students will finish up the year and move on to the next grade. Written by a woman has helped thousands of parents through her enormously successful parenting workshops and classes, cindy goldrichs book is an instant classic. An educators survival guide for dealing with difficult parents. This article is furnished by california casualty, providing auto and home insurance to educators, law enforcement officers, firefighters and nurses. In elementary, there are always parents in denial, so they dont get the kids tested, and they end up not getting the support they need. What difficulties do parents have when dealing with teachers. This chapter provides tactics to use to teach, tutor and lead school staff to interact more effectively with parents. Teaching strategies to deal with disrespectful parents.
Evelyn hwang hayley kaskensedwards annie wang kerenza yuen music all about us he is we sing together train. Instead of echoing the phrases of difficult parents, say. Certainly, there are a number of things you should tell your childs teacher about her to help start out the year right, but the responsibility for maintaining good parentteacher communication. This is a wonderful, humorous guide, which helps teachers anticipate and handle difficult or awkward situations. Dont be afraid to stand up for your actions if you believe that they were the correct ones. Let me start by saying that i am a believer in todd whitaker. Nothing gets the emotions going more than concerns about ones children.
In college i read, or should i say skimmed through a book called how to win friends and influence people, then 10 years later my sister recommended that i read it again. How to cope when a students parent just doesnt like you. I have been teaching 12 years now and have dealt with difficult parents, but i made my peace with the fact that not. If difficult parents are adding to your teaching stress, keep your cool and use these tips. It is our job as the teacher to resolve this difficult situation in a calm and collective manner. Those who are temporary should not be reassigned if they fail to improve over an agreed period of time. How to deal with your childs difficult teacher leave a comment. Four steps for handling emotionally immature parents emotionally immature parents will drive you crazy if you mistake their physical age for psychological maturity. Teachers should make sure they send a good report as soon as possible when they see the child doing something correctly.
How to deal with difficult parents education degree. The principal should seek to maintain total professionalism at all times in dealing with problematic teachers. Dealing with difficult parents in dealing with difficult parents, doug fiore and todd whitaker offer strategies and techniques that make it easier to deal with seemingly difficult parents and with the difficult situations in which they find themselves. Nov 18, 2010 most teachers wear their heart on their sleeves and are the most caring people in the world. One of the keys to parents and teachers working together is to have good communication. How to deal with parents who are angry, troubled, afraid, or. Jul 30, 2019 it is easier to deal with a parent if you can build a relationship with them before a difficult situation arises. First, appreciate how teaching a classroom of adolescents can be more difficult than teaching a classroom of younger children. Focus on the work and academic performance, and what you and the parent and siblings and other teachers, etc. We used the book as a community learning tool with our teachers and staff. Dont bring the student in until you and the parents are on the same side. For a lot of kids, meds andor an aid would help them immensely, but they wind up getting neither because of their parents.
We have seen eight major types of difficult staff members in action. Fiore assistant dean of the college of education, state university of west georgia is a straightforward guide written especially for teachers, principals, and others who share a mandate to. The important thing to do is view this as a lesson in how to handle difficult or less than ideal situations. Dealing with difficult teachers is another winner from whitakers collection. Working with difficult staff educational leadership.
Ones that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Typically, those negative people were quick to blame others and everything else for their malcontent, and that was readily visible to the staff, students, and parents. Dealing with aggressive parents professionally speaking. If they disliked teachers or had a bad experience in the classroom as a child, this may well contribute to their posture and tone dealing with you as a teacher figure. Dealing with difficult parents and with parents in difficult situations by todd whitaker associate professor of educational leadership, indiana state university, terre haute, indiana and douglas j. Leaders need to swiftly identify any teachers they work with who fit one of these patterns and deal with accompanying negative behaviors. Working with challenging parents of students with special needs. Facetoface interaction is ideal, but even a phone call is a better option so both parties can be invested in the conversation simultaneously.
Parents who care, and who have the best of intentions often aim their concern, frustrations and fears at teachers and school principals, and that can be daunting for teachers, since dealing with angry parents is not something thats taught in teacher. When the parent decides to contact your principal to complain about your lack of response, you can bring in copies of the communication you have had thus far. Just remember that you have the same goals as they do to help educate and empower their developing children. The scenarios are drawn from our book teacher talk. I do not share the view, held by some educators, that one should ignore difficult teachers. But however flexible principals must be about some things. I know that its probably difficult not to browbeat yourself over an angry parent, but do your best not to. If the parent is upset, its better to work that out before the child is in the room, says newberry.
When you deal with difficult parents the less you can do through email the better, lucy says. Dealing with difficult parents and with parents in. Feb 12, 2011 the kinds of parents discussed in this book are the minority but most of us will come across some parents that are harder to work with than others. You dont know what challenges they might be dealing with that could have led them to this situation. There are many different ways teachers need to respond to different situations, and using good judgment is more important than ever. Often too, a difficult parent may be unconsciously acting in response to their own experience of teachers when they were a student themselves. As a school administrator or teacher, you arent always going to make everybody happy. For other teachers dealing with difficult parents, maybe these lessons will ring true for you, too. How educators can deal with difficult parents california. For more guidance on dealing with difficult parents, see keep grownup aggression at bay, below. Agree on specific steps that you and the parents will take. As a school administrator or teacher, it is essential for a number of reasons to build relationships with the parents of your students. Into every teachers life a little rain must fall, and this book shows you how to make something of it that can be positive for everyone involved, teacher, parent, and especially, student.
An educators survival guide for dealing with difficult. As a result, they had little to no power to influence the teachers, students, parents, or community stakeholders with their complaining or nitpicking. Paula has three grown children and resides in oklahoma city, oklahoma. As most people who work in the field of education understand, dealing with difficult parents at school can be a tricky subject. Dealing with difficult parents, 2nd edition by todd whitaker and douglas j. Now that you have some tried and true strategies up your sleeves for dealing with difficult parents, you should feel confident in handling whatever comes your way. Not only is dealing with an angry or unreasonable parent upsetting, its time consuming. My reflection on this meeting helped me arrive at five extremely important conclusions. Provide ample opportunities for students to share feelings without being judged negatively by others.
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